Seriously, he’s walking along the furniture now.
Hey all! Papa Bear here. Sorry. I’m not very creative; I can’t come up with anything clever like “Tails from a not-so-conventional mommy.” I’ll settle with Papa Bear, because they have tails, right? Anyway, as my son is sitting next to me trying to thwart my attempts to type, I’ll talk about my parenting style. There are a lot of different parenting styles. We have many: authoritative father, the loving mother, the dead-beat dad, the wise man, etc. My wife calls me a great dad. I wouldn’t exactly say that. As I get home after a long day at work, I open the door to the sounds of a shrieking child and an extremely stressed out wife with disheveled hair. “I’ve had to pee for 3 hours, but couldn’t because the baby,” she says as she thrusts the baby into my arms. 30 seconds (and one thankfully empty bladder) later, she walks in the room to a laughing child in the lap of his daddy watching sports. What’s my secret? The art of DISTRACTION! Dads, take notes.
My ultimate goal with my child is to either stop him from crying or to prevent him from crying. Since laughing is the opposite of crying (disagree? Google it. BOOM!), I just try to make him laugh and smile. When he starts to sniffle, I like to throw him up in the air repeatedly until he’s forgotten that he was upset. That way I can keep watching the Cubs lose while he goes and knocks over the cats’ water bowl. I don’t care. He’s not crying, right? Another distracting trick is to shake my head back and forth. He laughs uproariously! His favorite for some reason is when I pretend to be that big black lady with an attitude from that one credit card commercial. The trick is to shake your head back and forth repeatedly and shout “I’m a big black lady with an attitude! NOW HOW CAN I HELP YOU!?” It works, guys. Try it. Seriously. Attention Deficit Disorder is a wonderful thing.
Distraction need not be used solely when the bb is crying. Our little bear cub likes to flip onto his stomach while we change his diaper. At first, I would try to prevent him from doing it. This only made him flip out and burst my ear drums with his deafening shrieks. I then allowed him to flip over, but that led to poop EVERYWHERE. I decided, finally, to try my distraction method. It takes every trick in the book, but it works! The big black woman with an attitude distracts him from rolling, and the… shit. Sorry guys. Gotta go. Baby is crying for some reason. I’ll be back next week.
Not that I have a long list of things I don’t like about being a wife because most of it is awesome but there is one thing that bothers ME when I know it really shouldn’t. I have this weird ideal of what the “perfect” housewife should be. I feel bad if I take a shower in the morning and never make it to the hair and makeup step or I feel crappy if there are dishes in the sink. I know it’s SO STUPID but it really does bother me sometimes! I think it all comes from my mother, she’s like fricken supermom who could wash the floor and blow dry her hair at the same time. But me, nah, I am not that talented.
For example, Everett and I had swim classes this morning. So now, here it is 2:30 in the afternoon and I’ve yet to even shower. Missed the opportunity during nap time because I was doing the other 3,000 things. I just want to be my prettiest for the husband when he gets home. He never never never complains but I do. Hmmmmm, End Rant.
I’m so excited to have all these new followers 🙂 I hope you guys find some enjoyment out of my posts and as always feel free to comment! I also have up a new layout! Check it out 🙂
Being a military family, one of the hardest parts of being away is the constant missing friends and family. I have only been apart of this lifestyle for a little over a year now and as it does get easier, it still isn’t easy. I feel even worse because of the fact that we do have a baby and I can’t imagine how hard it is for them to be missing a lot of the things that happen during the first year. Meh, it’s what I signed up for.
I’m quite challenged in the design department but love a cute lookin’ blog as much as the next guy. So I have decided to have a company help me out 🙂 The new layout will be installed this evening and I’m very excited about it.
http://www.akayblogdesign.com/ — If you have any design needs I highly recommend them!
I also noticed there is a section on the site titled “how I learned to design” It’s a company called mommy blog designs. You better believe I’m going to look into that 🙂 I’m one of those who always wants to keep learning. Why not add in web designer to my list of things I can do!
Do you mommas remember when you had that realization that your baby was really turning into not such a little guy/girl anymore? I looked at him last night and was like “holy shit, you’re a human!” I always have this image in my head of him at 8 pounds drinking 4oz, sad but true. I just am not ready for the growing up stage! Well, last night at dinner we decided to give him small pieces of what we were eating. Chicken. Avocado. Potato. Green beans. He ate it all and loved it. I know this is totally normal but it was my OMG you’re a human moment.