It’s Time To Have Another Baby When…

newbabyI can only hope that no one clicked on this post hoping that some girl on the internet was going to tell them when it was the right time or even if they should add another child to their family. No one is ever going to be able to answer that question for you. That is a choice that you and / or you and your partner are going to have to decide.

This is more of a post on my internal struggle to figure out when a family is complete. I get asked all the damn time if I’m going to have another one or even when we’re going to have another one. First off, that question is borderline offensive. I always reply, “I have no idea.” Honestly, that’s how I feel about it. I have no idea if we’re going to decide to welcome a third baby into our family. I’m currently way too busy running after the two that I have to even comprehend the thought of a third. Plus, three would mean the adults are outnumbered and statically, I don’t like that idea.

Then again, the thought of never having another newborn is kind of heartbreaking to me. It’s not that I didn’t cherish every second with Everett and Aria as a brand new babies, but something about never having that experience of first setting eyes on that new little family member bothers me. I’m not sure if that part of me will ever feel fulfilled of if that’s going to be something I miss as I watch my two grow up.

My struggle is pretty simple at this point. When my two darling children are being little angels and acting so adorable I am open to having another one. When they’re being typical toddlers and driving me crazy, I can’t imagine adding a baby to the chaos. My story is still being written and we’ll see what the future holds. At this point my answer will remain, “I don’t know.”

What I Look For In Friends as an Adult

I look back at my late teens and early twenties and think about all of the “friends” that I had back then. I was extremely busy with school, working part time, and of course going out. There wasn’t ever a night that I had away from studying that wasn’t spent with people hanging out a bar or doing something of the sorts. I always was surrounded by people but those people quickly faded out of my life as soon as my lifestyle completely changed.

friendshipsAlmost as soon as I graduated, I moved on in life to a completely different chapter. My husband and I welcomed our first child into our family and that’s really when my friends changed. It probably sounds like I’m holding some kind of grudge or resentment towards that change but in all honesty, I’m not. I understand that is exactly what happens when you start a family. That part of your life changes. You don’t go out to the bars all the time anymore. You start to have a reasonable bedtime because 7am is pretty disgusting when you’ve been up all night. It’s actually quite refreshing because I was getting pretty tired of that scene. Anyways, all of that change brought me into thinking a little more in detail about what I wanted in friendships in my “younger” days vs. what I want in friendships now. The difference is astronomical.

Then:

  • I wanted friends to help me study but know when enough is enough and it was time to drink some beer.
  • I wanted friends that would drop everything on a dime and go out and explore the town.
  • I wanted friends that would play dress up with me until we got the perfect look.
  • I wanted friends to shop with.
  • I wanted friends that would stay up till all hours of the night being goofy and then wake up the next day well passed noon and do it all over again.While none of these things are wrong; life is just so different now.

Now: 

  • I want a friends now who, at the drop of a hat, will drop off gatorade, toilet paper, and lysol on my front porch because we all have the stomach flu.
  • I want a friends who understands that if I don’t text back for 4 days, I’m not mad. I’m just insanely busy trying to prevent these little people in my life from killing themselves.
  • I want friends who don’t mind me dragging around those said little people because they are now and extension of me.
  • I want friends who are okay with only hanging out a few times a month but are always there too talk.
  • I want friends who will run errands with me. It’s more fun to do the mundane stuff with a pal.
  • I want friends who care less about the outside and more about the inside. Lets be honest here, I just don’t have the time or energy anymore to get as fancy as I used too. Seriously, How did I ever find the time to spend 2 hours on hair and makeup?

At this point in my life its all about quality over quantity of friends which is 100% okay with me now. In my past I used to hate being alone and always wanted a friend to hang out with. Now, I am learning to love the silence. I might sound like a total loner but in reality, it’s not all that often in a house with two toddlers you get peace or alone time.

5 End Of Summer Must Read Books

If you know anything about me; you know that I’m an avid reader. I love picking up a good book pretty much whenever I have time. That time is few and far between which means I just read myself to sleep every night. I like to experiment with all types of books but I’m mainly a big reader of what I like to call “Chick-Lit.” You know, girly love stories with twisted plots. Warning: If you’re not a fan, you might not enjoy my list. To each their own.

MustReadBooks

1 // Down The Rabbit Hole – Holly Madison
I was a complete skeptic of this book before I finally bit the bullet and decided to read it. It was, what I believe, an honest depiction of what is really going on behind closed doors at the Playboy mansion. I applaud her for coming out and telling her story. You’ll probably catch a lot of negative reviews on this book coming from people to just don’t like Holly. I was never really a fan but still enjoyed this book.

2 // The Night Circus – Erin Morgenstern The Night Circus
This book isn’t just about magic. It is magic. It’s the tale of a circus that just shows up out of the blue and is only open at night, hence the title. What goes on behind the walls of the tent is a story that keeps you completely engaged.

3 // Hush – Kate White 
Hush
Dramatic, exciting, and a fun mystery read. The main character of this book has a huge secret and you get to follow along as everyone else tries to figure out what she is hiding. It’s one of those “expect the unexpected” type of reads.

4 // The Girl On The Train – Paula Hawkins The Girl On The Train
The main character of this story is one whom you think takes crazy to a whole new level until the end when you figure out why. It’s 100% a must read in my opinion, especially before the movie comes out.

5 // With A Little Luck- Caprice Crane With A Little Luck
This is without a doubt a girly book about completely girly things. Expect to follow along with an extremely superstitious woman and her journey finding love.

Nexplanon: The Evil Birth Control

After I had my daughter in June of 2014, I decided that I wanted a birth control that was considered “long term.” I didn’t want to have to take a pill every day, I didn’t want to go into an office for an injection every 3 months, and I didn’t want a IUD. After talking it over with my doctor, I decided that the Nexplanon implant was perfect for me. Or so I thought. 

Nexplanon

Along with my doctor, I did some research with my peers before getting the Nexplanon implanted into my arm. A lot of people had great experiences but an almost equal number of people told me not to do it. I figured since I’ve always had very minimal side effects with every single birth control I have ever been on, I’d go ahead and get it. I should have listened.

Getting the actual implant wasn’t a big deal at all. A lot of complaints are about having it actually placed. I am very sensitive to the numbing agent that is used (Lidocaine) so I felt nothing during the actual procedure. It was sore for a day or two and that was the end of that.

I was breastfeeding at the time that I got it. That’s another reason I decided to go with Nexplanon. It’s safe to have while breastfeeding where as your options can be quite limited during that time. I had no issues for months. I thought for sure I had made the right decision. In December, our breastfeeding journey had come to an end and I had the implant for going on 5 months at that time. Almost as soon as I stopped breastfeeding the issues began.

First of all, I was beyond hormonal. I’m not one to really experience PMS including the cramping and the moodiness but I couldn’t get away from it. It was 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Then came the bleeding. The bleeding that everyone warned me about. I was on my “cycle” for 12 weeks straight. 12. I’m convinced that is how Nexplanon is considered birth control. It makes you bleed so you’re not interested in getting down and dirty. Ever.

After 12 weeks,  I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. It was showing no signs of stopping so I scheduled an appointment to have it removed. At this time we had just moved down to Georgia so I had to find a new doctor. The soonest they could get me in was 4 more weeks. I finally got to the doctor and they informed me that they had to do a consult before they could remove it and I would have to schedule another appointment. Luckily this one was only a few days after. Finally, after 16 weeks, yes 4 months, of a constant period, I was going to be saved.

It took only 4 days to stop. I started back on a pill that I used before my children and have been 100% fine since.

So, I guess now I’m just left with this terrible memory, a small ugly scar on my arm, and the strong urge to tell other people not to get the stupid Nexplanon implant.

The Perfect Hobby for the “Type A” Personality: Planner Decorating

According to Wikipedia, a Type A Personality is described as “individuals that are ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management.” So if you fit into this category, chances are you already use a planner to help schedule your life. I am without a doubt one of those people. I have been using a planner for years and years but only recently discovered how much more fun I could have with it.

plannerdecoratingIt all began when I got my Erin Condren planner this past January. Before this, I would just pick up one at pretty much any store and make-do. I decided to make little more of an investment ($50 compared to $10) and instantly found myself more organized. If you haven’t seen these planners before, they’re gorgeous and 100% customizable. Before you stop reading thinking that this is just a sponsored post, it’s not. I’m getting nothing to promote this brand; I just simply love it enough to openly talk about it for free. The only thing is if you decide you can’t live without one either you can use my referral link located here. We both get $10 off our next order.

Anyways, so after falling in love with my planner and actually using it to schedule out my days, keep track of important events, and remind myself of important things to do, it was time to take the next step. My pal Krista, who blogs at See You Next Tuesday, started adding me to a few Erin Condren Addict groups. I can’t even describe some of the amazing designs that these women create. It’ll be easier to show you what I’m talking about.

plannersWhile theres no doubt that these are gorgeous and I absolutely adore the creativity some of these people have; I just can’t. I can’t bring myself to find the time to color code everything so amazing nor can I justify the money that is probably spent. Just like every hobby, it can get expensive. I’m just not at that point yet. Yet probably being the key word in that sentence.

seaplanner

I love these groups because they’re a fantastic motivation to get stuff done. It’s fun to share a space with a bunch of “planner nuts” that get overly excited about stickers and pens like me. I swear, when my husband runs across this post, he’s going to roll his eyes even more than he does on a daily basis.

So I’ll give you guys a sneak peek as to where I am at in this new hobby. I have invested in some Washi Tape (I can’t get enough of the stuff), some amazing pens, and some cheap stickers off of Amazon. Without spending a lot of money or a lot of time, I feel like I’ve created something pretty adorable. Most importantly, it’s making me get things DONE! If I put it in the planner, I want to be able to check it off so I do it. It’s a win win.

myplannerSo if you’re really into planning and like things that look pretty; let me suggest planner decorating as a new hobby! Just don’t let it get stressful. Remember, it’s supposed to be fun.

The Unlimited Uses for Baby Wipes

babywipesOne of my daughters favorite things to get into is the baby wipes. If you’re not watching her for two seconds, she’ll get the package open and pull out every single one. She’s like Houdini and get pretty much the entire package empty while I turn my head. I try not to be a very “wasteful” person so when this happens I try to put them to good use before they dry up. I’ve had to get pretty creative because this happens more often than I’d like to admit.

  1. If you have a dog, clean it. Baby wipes make great quick once overs for your pets.
  2. Dust. Dust every surface.
  3. Wipe down the interior of your car.
  4. Clean the front of your cabinets. I have white cabinets so I’m having to wipe them down constantly. I swear I turn to baby wipes more often than anything traditional.
  5. If your kids didn’t just get out of the bathtub, they’re probably dirty. Even if they did, they’re probably dirty. Give them a quick clean up bath.
  6. Baby wipes surprisingly work fantastic on stainless steel appliances.
  7. Do you have to go to the bathroom? Now is a great time to go and give yourself “the royal treatment.” Don’t flush them though. It says so all over the package but my husband didn’t seem to know that.
  8. Take your phone out of it’s case and tell me how disgusting it is. I was significantly grossed out the first time I thought to do this. Wipe it clean with a baby wipe.
  9. They’re not great for cleaning the actually windows in your house (unless you’re into streaks) but they’re amazing for the windowsill.
  10. Stuck on food in your microwave? Use the wipe to pick it off and wipe away.
  11. They work great at removing your eye makeup!
  12. If you have a few that are already pretty dried out, attach them to your “Swiffer” mop. They work great at picking up dust and animal hair.
  13. Do you have deodorant marks on your shirt from when you were getting dressed this morning? A baby wipe takes them off quickly without leaving your shirt soaking wet.
  14. Moisten envelopes. Licking them is the grosses thing on the planet. I learned this lesson after I got a paper cut on my tongue. Never again.
  15. If worst comes to worst and you can’t use them all up while they’re wet, save them. They still make fantastic dust rags.

babyandwipesIt’s about time I stop calling them baby wipes because around here they’re probably used on other things more than my kids.

Do you have any unconventional uses for baby wipes? I’d love to hear about them!

The App That Made Me Feel Old

feeling old

I like to think that I’m “hip” with the times and can still work a computer and / or any phone application without second guessing myself. I have always been pretty technologically savvy. I’ve been able to open up any new social network, application, and most computer programs and navigate myself around until I figure it out. The time has finally come where I’m feeling pretty defeated.

Snapchat.

snapchat

I first became aware of this social media network quite a while back. I want to say it’s been well over a year that I had first installed it on my phone. I took one look at it and thought “NOPE.” I was so against the idea of having random (or what I thought was random) people send me pictures that I could never save and never see again. I thought the entire idea was just shady, creepy, and I didn’t want any part of it.

So, fast forward to a few weeks ago. I read in a blog post that people were using Snapchat to promote their blog work. Since I like to identify in that “blogger” category, it was becoming apparent that this app was extremely popular and quickly becoming a way for bloggers to give their readers a sort of “behind the scenes” type of thing. Since I try to stay current with what’s going on in the blogging world, I decided to give it a second shot.

This second shot is going just about as good as the first one. I just don’t get it. I can’t comprehend the purpose of it and I technically can’t figure out how to use it properly.

This is basically why I want to throw my phone out the window when I’m  attempting to use Snapchat:

  • I installed it and sent a chat message to a friend of mine. About 20 minutes or so later she responded. I could no longer see what I had sent to her. Uhm, Do you think I can remember a chat for longer than 30 seconds?
  • The same goes with pictures. I don’t recall what I sent to who after a certain amount of time so when someone replies with “haha, that was great,” I just smile and nod because I have no idea what they’re referring too.
  • I don’t understand what “my story is.” I’m guessing it’s just where you upload the picture and everyone that you have added can see it? Only for a certain amount of time?
  • Can you screenshot on this app? It seems that would defeat the whole purpose of it BUT it would surely help my short term memory or have some ammo when people send me awful selfies.
  • People are sending pictures that have filters on them and are edited with Emoji’s. I can’t even. I understand how to type a little something on the picture but that’s about as far as I’ve gotten.
  • My husband was telling me that one of his favorite sports teams was like “follow us on Snapchat.” I’ve yet to figure out how to follow specific celebrities or organizations like that. They didn’t give a handle to find them so it’s like you’re just supposed to know. We’ve searched Chicago Blackhawks, nothing.
  • Apparently I’m being scored on something. When you look at the main screen under your picture it says “score.” I wasn’t aware I signed up for a contest.

I guess I could probably use trusty ole’ Google and figure out everything that I’m confused about. I just haven’t figured out if I care enough to do so; which is probably not. The entire concept is quite confusing hence the reason I feel so old trying to use Snapchat.

PS. This app would turn from confusing to terrifying pretty damn fast if I had kids older than toddlers. I fear for the youth using Snapchat.  {again, another statement that makes me sound like my grandmother}

Moms, Squeeze in Time For Yourself.

mommytime

I know that it’s really hard to find time for yourself between taking care of the kids and keeping the house from looking like it’s been set on fire. I get it. I just am a huge advocate for making sure you have some type of balance to your crazy schedule that includes time for yourself. There has to be some truth to the saying “If momma’s not happy, nobody’s happy,” right?

Sometimes I have two hours of time to do with whatever I choose and sometimes I only have 10 minutes. Regardless, I’m now trying to take full advantage of whatever time that I do have. I also used to use this free time [nap time] to catch up on things around the house but I’m slowly teaching myself to clean around the kids or get them involved. Who knew toddlers liked taking wet wash clothes and wiping the floors?! Now while I can’t get the house to my annoyingly high standards with them awake, I’m managing to use less of those precious sleeping hours doing things I don’t really want to do.

So what have I been enjoying as my “me” time lately? Not all of it involves wine but that’s because I don’t like hangovers. Please, feel free to +/- wine wherever you see fit.

  1. Adult Coloring Books. I swear this is one of the biggest stress relievers that I have found.  There’s something pretty amazing about a fresh coloring book and a big box of colored pencils that haven’t been destroyed by your children. This might sound crazy but try it, I promise you’ll love it.
  2. Writing. It’s no secret, obviously, that I like to write. I spend a good part of my free time working on this blog but a lot of my writing never reaches the “published” status. Some of it is just for me to read. Some of it is to get my thoughts out of my head. Some of it is just random lists of things that I want to do or things that I’d like to purchase. I encourage everyone to write, even if you don’t think that you’re good at it. You can write down all the funny things your kids did that day or even decide to start a blog and start writing there. It’s actually a really fun hobby.
  3. You-Tube tutorials. This has become one of my crazy new addictions. I can watch You-Tube tutorials all day long. I’m not sure if it’s my urge to always learn something new or what but it’s incredibly fun. There is literally a tutorial on how to do just about anything your heart desires on the internet. For example, this week I’m working on 1) The French Braid (I know, pathetic I still can’t do one) 2) How to create the classic “cat eye” makeup trick with a spoon and 3) How to tie your scarfs into shirts. I’m particularly excited about all of my new flamboyant shirts that I’ll be rocking.
  4. Reading. I read pretty much everywhere I can including some of my free time. I am a huge book reader but the internet is full of crazy things to get your eyes on. It’s amazing to just sit down and escape real life and just let your mind fall into whatever it is your reading. Even if it is just reality TV spoilers (guilty as charged)
  5. Organization. I know this sounds like work but it can be actually be quite relaxing. I’m slowly in the process of re-vamping my closet and my wardrobe. I say slowly because it’s been well over a month and I’m still just doing tiny bits at a time. I like to just space out, not think about anything important, and be a little bit productive sometimes.

Now, just for fun, lets add wine to the above topics.

  1. Adult Coloring Books. Scribble all over the pages. Still therapeutic.
  2. Writing. You’re going to want to keep that to yourself. In fact, burn when complete.
  3. You-Tube tutorials. If you attempt any makeup ones, you’re going to wake up looking like a clown. Don’t even think about looking up “how to cut your bangs” or “how to turn your husbands t-shirts into dresses.”
  4. Reading. AKA, nap time.
  5. Organization. You’re going to make a huge mess thinking you’re “organizing” things. Stop while you’re ahead.

 

Skinny Obese

skinnyobese

Skinny Obese. This is the term that I have decided describes me best when it comes to my body. I have never been an active person as far as fitness goes. I have always been very fortunate in the sense that I can literally eat Taco Bell for three meals a day and not gain a pound. I have never had the struggles that I know millions of people have with my weight. Just because I look a certain way on the outside doesn’t mean that my inside reflects what everyone is seeing.

This isn’t fun or easy to admit but I want people to get a glimpse inside the mind of someone who is often called “lucky” that they don’t workout or “fortunate” that they look a certain way. I might look like some people’s “ideal” but really, I should be far from what anyone is aiming for.

I can’t run. In high school, over 10 years ago and before I got lazy, I could run a mile without trouble. I could actually run well. If I tried to run a mile now, in my current condition, I would probably collapse, vomit, and not be able to breathe. It’s extremely unattractive.

I struggle to lift weight of any kind. Sure, I’m not a complete mess, but I struggle with lifting things that shouldn’t be a huge issue. Walking from the car to the house with a 50 pound bag of dog food is excruciating. I can do it but it’s not easy at all. This also comes into play at work when I have to lift a large dog onto the x-ray table or carry them to their recovery space after surgery. I would love to be able to do this things with a lot more confidence.

A little flexibility would be nice. I can’t touch my toes. I would like to be able to use my height and long legs as an excuse but really, I’m just kidding myself with that theory. My muscles are bound so tight that even touching the ground isn’t possible for me without bending my knees.

Walking up the stairs or the driveway has become awful. I have the worlds steepest driveway and I find myself getting slightly winded to actually breathing harder from just walking up it. That’s not okay with me in the slightest.

I’m exhausted. I have two children that I’m sure contribute a ton to my lack of sleep. I’m constantly chasing after them, breaking up fights, and serving their hellish demands. I just feel like my general fatigue has more to do with than just being a mom. I will get plenty of sleep the night before and still wake up not feeling well rested. I have been to the doctor and my blood work does show slight anemia and vitamin D deficiency. I just can’t help but think that more exercise and a better diet would be a fast track to some more energy.

“Good” for you food doesn’t taste good, at all. Since on the outside I’m physically able to eat basically anything I want without gaining weight, I don’t want to choose things that are good for me. I want to choose the things that taste amazing. I like carbs, dairy, and meats. I want to eat a bagel every morning for breakfast, a sandwich everyday for lunch, something probably terrible for dinner, and a bowl of cereal every night before bed. I know I won’t be able to eat this way forever and I need to try to learn to curve it now before it gets the best of me.

If you were to actually touch me, I’m kind of squishy. It sounds a lot cuter in my head than it really is. My husband never complains. I just don’t like the way things jigggle and the way my belly really just feels like a bunch of Play-Doh. I try to tighten it and I’ve yet to really find the muscle under there.

This is a photo from this past April when we did a challenge to get off our butts and get dressed every day. I'm probably even a few pounds less than in this photo but just as unhealthy.

This is a photo from this past April when we did a challenge to get off our butts and get moving every day. I’m probably even a few pounds less than in this photo but just as unhealthy.

So, I’ve decided to make some changes. Some changes that I’m hoping will just become apart of my lifestyle and will feel a lot less like work once I actually get used to them.

  • We have a gym membership. The gym has childcare so both my husband and myself have no excuse as far as the kids are concerned to get in there and start bettering ourselves. I’m learning a lot of the weight machines and working on some cardio. It’s going to be a slow process for the both of us but the point is that we’re making an effort.
  • I’m going to start meal planning and shopping weekly. It can be hard for me to find time to make it to the store every single week and when I go only twice a month, good food becomes limited in the house and we start to make poor eating choices. I’m hoping that by stocking the fridge with good choices I’ll be less likely to turn to the bad things that I love so much.
  • I’ve charged my Fit Bit and started wearing it again. It’s amazing how much motivation is brought on by something that actually tells me how lazy I’m being.
  • I’m taking weekly yoga classes at the gym. I didn’t think I was going to like yoga as much as I do. It’s hard and actually a good workout, which surprised me.

I’m just generally working towards becoming a healthier version of myself. I’m setting realistic goals and making one change at a time. I’m excited to see what the future with all these changes I’ll be making have in store for myself and my family.

 

The Time Suck Known As “Real Life”

time

You may or quite possibly may not have noticed my lack of attention to my internet life and specifically my blog lately. If you’ve wondered where the hell I’ve been… Trust me, I have been wondering myself. In the past few weeks I’ve been finding it basically impossible to sit down and write. I has nothing to do with motivation or desire to do it; I miss it.  It’s frankly just because there aren’t enough hours in the day and I’ve never really been one to sacrifice an entire nights sleep for anything.

I am just like everyone else out there in the world and lead a real life outside of the internet; hard to believe, I know. Some of you probably already know that I work “part time” as an emergency room veterinary technician. I put part time in quotations like that because we have been so busy that my 6 hour shifts turn into 9 and my 9 hour shifts turn into 12. I have been running myself ragged around my workplace and when I get out it’s well past midnight. I work evenings while my husband is home with the kids. He puts them to bed and then gets up and goes to work at 5 o’clock in the morning. That means I have to drag myself out of bed whenever they wake up (usually before 7 AM) and somehow be a productive member of this household on little to no sleep. It’s exhausting as you can imagine but I do what I have to do because I love working. It just doesn’t leave a lot of room in my half asleep brain to compose a legible blog post. I can hardly get the kids dressed and fed before my 8th cup of coffee let alone write in complete sentences. In a way, I’m doing the internet a favor with my absence.

My kids used to take naps at the same time. I had a good 2-3 hour stretch where the house was silent in the middle of the day. I was able to clean up, do laundry, and write. Those times are very far and few between. The baby naps a good 3 hours in the early afternoon which is fantastic but the toddler wants nothing to do with sleep until about 3 o’clock, when she wakes up. While managing one child is much easier, it still doesn’t leave me with enough peace to get anything  productive done.

There are a few times where they both decide they want to play nicely in their playroom together. Last week they were playing so nice that I decided I was going to bring out my laptop. As soon as I opened the screen it was back to toy stealing, tackling, and the newest thing: pulling hair. I have to play referee all day.

So between lack of sleep, cooking meals, cleaning, working, breaking up fights, entertaining children, and my husband… There just isn’t enough time in my day to fully dedicate myself to writing. Luckily there is an end in sight. My hours at work are going to decrease slightly and my husbands shift is changing. He will be working the afternoon / evening shift which means the TV and internet are all mine at night and free time is reclaimed once the kids go to bed. July, here I come.