10 Things I Learned In This First Year of Being A Parent

With my sons first birthday fast approaching I’ve been doing a lot of nostalgic thinking back on the past year. I’ve compiled a list of the little things that no one told me that I’d be experiencing but had to pick up on really quick.
1) Food actually does taste better when it’s cut up into small pieces. Like all parents, as soon as my son started eating solid adult foods everything needed to be cut up into bite sized pieces. I’ve caught myself on several occasions cutting my servings into the same small bits and actually enjoying it more. 

2) If you get a chance to poop when the baby is napping, take it. Once you child becomes mobile there is no more alone time in the bathroom. I sit there trying to do my business while yelling “stop eating that toilet paper” or “quit trying to climb into the tub.”

3) Getting your baby to roll over is considered a milestone until they do it when you’re trying to change them.  I remember the first time we got Everett to roll over on his own. It was so exciting. It was a total proud moment. Then a couple of weeks later he knew he could do it and never wanted to stop even when he had an ass full of poop. I can’t even count how many times my hands and entire changing table were covered.

4) Everyone tells you that you won’t get a lot of sleep but it doesn’t set in until it happens. So after you finally get that bundle of joy asleep in the evening it would only make sense that you get some shut eye as well. I spend all day playing and slowly picking up but at the end of the day the house is torn into pieces. I also need some quiet adult time which really cuts into the sleep. 
5) You’re going to make some weird noises and say things that don’t make sense. When you figure out what makes your child laugh you’re going to go ahead and do it over and over and over. For some reason Everett loves it when we call him monker moose and crawl around chasing him making giggle noises saying “I’m going to get you.” I do this for at least an hour each day. 
6) Shopping used to be fun but now it’s a pain in the ass. I used to like going out and shopping for groceries, clothing, furniture, or anything really. Not only have I become really cheap because I want to save money for the future now that I’m a parent but dragging a child out of the house can be a real nightmare. They always end up pooping at the wrong time or getting crabby because they don’t want to be in the cart anymore. 
7) The living room will look like ToysRUs. I don’t have the luxury to have a separate playroom for all the toys so they’re just accumulating in the living area.  Walking in from work last night at 1:30 in the morning I tripped over a plastic lawnmower. 
8) Everything you own will be slimy or sticky. I didn’t realize how much drool was going to be everywhere once they started getting teeth.  Sometimes I’m concerned he’s seriously getting dehydrated because it seems like more drool is coming out than liquid going in. They also have no concept of what is on their face so when the drool mixes with that cracker they just ate it creates this super glue of yuck.
9) You’re going to find yourself humming and singing the tunes of every toy your child owns. Most of the toys Everett has plays about 1-3 songs. He likes to sit there and press the buttons non stop. I’m constantly hearing the same thing all day long. For example, “Welcome to the learning farm, we have lots to show you. Shapes and colors music too, there’s so much to do! It’s a barn yard singalong.”  I’m sure some of you know this song, it’s a popular toy. 
10) You’re going to find a love that you’ve never known. Ok, I had to get a little serious here because despite the lack of sleep, the slime, the minimal privacy, the overwhelming amount of toys, and even the poop there is nothing like being a parent. It’s an unconditional and consuming love that is the most priceless thing on the planet. 

Comments

  1. says

    LOL … these are great and SO true! Just wait … it gets even better in year two. Entering year three myself so I’ll keep you updated on all the nonsense that takes place here!

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